


The Thoughts That Leave Me A Wreck

by swordmemorykey



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, all i ever write anymore is vent pieces, based entirely on my own relationship with my mother, no graphic depictions of violence but, owen doesnt have a good relationship with his mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 18:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13664772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordmemorykey/pseuds/swordmemorykey
Summary: A boy comes through the rift and resurfaces a memory Owen thought he'd lost long ago





	The Thoughts That Leave Me A Wreck

The latest rift activity had hit all of them hard. After all, a teenage boy willing to jump into the rift to escape his abusive family wasn't what any of them expected when they got into work that morning. 

Surprisingly,or maybe not, it had been Ianto who stuck with the boy through it all. Normally it would have been Gwen but Ianto jumped to comfort the boy faster than Gwen could and she let him. She didn't know the full extent of his upbringing but from the little she had heard, she knew he would be much better at comforting the hurting boy than her. Ianto had taken him to eat, watched a movie in Jack's office, did everything in his power to make the boy feel comfortable in this new world he had jumped head first into.

By the end of the day, Ianto had already left with the boy to get him situated in his and Jack's apartment while Jack stayed behind with the rest of the team to make sure everything was resolved and to make plans for if anything like this were to happen in the future; though he hoped beyond belief that nothing like this would happen in the future.

Jack was getting ready to leave (he was practically out the tourist shop) when he noticed a figure sitting with their legs pulled to their chest, head on their knees, pushed as far as they could into the corner right before the door. There was heavy breathing coming from the figure and from the limited light Jack could see that it was-

"Owen?" Jack approached wearily.

Owen kept his head down and let out a mirthless laugh before he started talking. "There's no fucking reason my heart should be racing this fast. I'm exhibiting all the symptoms of a panic attack but- she hadn't spanked me since I was seven by that time but she just looked so angry and the door opened so fast and I opened my eyes because I forgot I was pretending to sleep to avoid her and she was standing there like a killer from the movies just watching me and thank everything she didn't see me open my eyes for just a moment. She left me alone but that doesn't change the question of why the fuck- aw hell I will not have a panic attack because of a fucking memory that means nothing, okay, nothing even happened why am I remembering- nothing even- that's just-"

Jack cut off Owens rambling, voice as gentle as he could make it and emanating calm as he spoke when inside all he felt was worry for his friend and fury at that friends mother because he knew for a fact the 'she' Owen was referring to was none other than the woman who gave him life in the first place.If only she knew how she plagues him now. No one should be having panic inducing memories of their parents. No one. "Hey, hey. Owen, look at me." 

Owen lifted his head but kept his arms firmly around his knees, trying to make himself as small as possible. Jack didn't want to know how many times he had been in that same position with no one around to help. When Owen looked at Jack, all he saw was worry and damn it, Owen, you're supposed to be the rude brash one not the fucking crybaby, can't even be yourself right. No wonder your mother hates you and your dad left.

"Can I…" Jack hesitated. He wasn't sure how Owen would react to being held right now but he knew what Ianto needed in moments like this and decided to go for it. "Are you adverse to touch right now?"

Owen shook his head in the negative minutely. Jack nodded.

"Okay. I'm going to hug you now, okay?"

When Owen didn't respond, just looked away, Jack asked again. "Owen? Is that okay?"

Owen looked into Jack's face again. He nodded his head. 

Jack wrapped his arms around him then lent slightly back, letting Owen lie slightly on him, face buried in Jack's neck. Owen wrapped his arms tight around Jack and tried to control his breathing. That memory wasn't even a bad one but he hadn't thought about it since that night and all the fear from his adolescence had come rushing back after seeing the rift-boy hanging around all day reminding him so much of himself and isn't that the kicker because Owen wasn't abused, he wasn't fucking abused but the fear was still there, that he might finally push his mother over the edge and she'd hit him just like when he was still in primary school and had done something wrong and spanked him or she'd call him an idiot like his dad had done or- oh shit he's crying now, isn't that just bloody fantastic, crying into his boss' shoulder, he must think I'm weak or something. None of this makes sense, why did everything come rushing back so suddenly this wasn't supposed to happen-

"Let it out, just let it out. You're safe, Owen. Your mother isn't going to hurt you. I've got you. I won't let any harm come your way."

And Jack sounded so sure, so gentle, so much like the person he'd pretended comforted him during things like this when he was younger that Owen couldn't control the tears if he tried- but boy did he try. It was embarrassing but the tears just kept coming in waves. All the fear he'd felt all day; hell, since his childhood, came out with a vengeance and left its mark on Jack's shirt and Jack held him through it all, voice like a gentle caress through it all, reassuring him that he was free from his mother at last. Bit stupid he was afraid of her for no reason. Maybe his dad had been right after all. 

"I know what you must be thinking, that you have no right to feel the way you do." And he doesn't have a right because he'd never been abused- "But you have a right to your own feelings. They're not wrong. If that's what you're feeling then you have valid reasoning for it because otherwise why would you be feeling that way?" And that's the question Owen wants answered too. 

Jack moved one of his hands from Owens back and used it to lift his chin so they were eye to eye. "I'm here for you, you know that, right? So is Tosh, so is Ianto, so is Gwen. We're all here for you, even if you can be a git sometimes. You're our git. We wouldn't have you any other way than yourself."

And for the first time in weeks- maybe even months- Owen let a genuine smile overtake his face and allowed himself an honest to goodness laugh. It was all so much after so long of hiding, being alone. 

Jack let Owen bury his head in his neck again. He doesn't know how long they were on the floor like that for before Owen extracted himself from Jack's embrace and stood to go. He helped Jack stand up. It was the least he could do after Jack had done so much for him. 

They walked out the door of the tourist shop together, Jack making sure to lock the door behind him. They walked together as far as they could before their paths diverged and said their goodbyes. 

As Owen watched Jack's retreating back, he realized that he'd never once told Jack thank you for everything he'd done for him. Not just for today, but for giving him one chance after another even when he hadn't deserved it. 

"Jack." The man turned and looked at Owen. Owen shifted slightly on the spot, fidgeting with his hands before shoving them into his pockets. "Thank you." And with that, Owen turned abruptly down the street and out of sight. Jack smiled to himself. Maybe one day he would stop being surprised by his employees.

'God I hope not.'


End file.
